I was just folding my laundry earlier this evening and as I was folding my newest pairs of underwear I noticed something very interesting about the evolution of men’s briefs.

I remember, years ago that men’s briefs were designed with an opening in front for a man to allow his penis access to the outside world to pee. The new underwear has no such opening. Additionally, the “package area” has been greatly expanded, and constructed in such a way as to create a little, supportive “hammock” for the penis.

Later in the evening, as I sipped my wine, I continued this train of thought and began to wonder whether some research was done somewhere that determined that few men were using the little “trap door” of the old school briefs and that men were just pulling them down to pee instead of navigating their penis through a special slit in the briefs. It is probably cheaper for the underwear producing company to design and produce briefs without the complicated slit openings anyway.

I also began to wonder if the “hammock” was created to make men feel like their “package” was more substantial and thus needed a special “holder” for their manhood, and if men were more apt to buy such underwear, thus increasing sales.

I don’t miss it. When I was a kid, I always thought that weird little slit in the front of my underwear was silly, unnecessary, and uncomfortable to use. I mean, really, what were you supposed to do? Unzip your fly, reach in and fish around for your wang and pull it through the underwear slit and out your fly? And then when you were done peeing you were supposed to stuff it back through all those layers of jeans and underwear? I mean, COME ON? Did anyone actually do that?