When I was a teenager I was given the following advice, “Love what you do and you will never work a day in your life”…. Of course, when I was a teenager, what I loved to do was eat pizza[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I have decided to form my own middle-aged boy band. It will be based on the “Spice Girls” model and will be called “The Spice Boys”. Band members will have different names like, “Business Spice” and “Sportsguy Spice” or maybe[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I will be going on vacation in about ten minutes. ..and by vacation, I mean a drunken stupor.
My therapy session today was an extremely emotional one. My therapist cried through most of it.
I am in my local Staples in Brooklyn to make three copies of a page from my tax return. I find the only working photocopy machine sitting amongst the others that sit idle and useless like shipwrecked hulks. I put[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
There was an enormously obese guy on the subway sitting across from me dressed in an MTA uniform, with a slim piece of cardboard in his hand that was the size of a stick of gum. He kept twisting it[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I wonder if there will be a couch to sit on when I get to hell or if I will have to stand the whole time.
There must be a place, out there, somewhere, where people like me are worshipped like Gods. But who wants to be worshipped by a bunch of imbeciles.
I’ve been trying to follow the crinkled, scribbled-upon roadmap of my life, but now have spent way too much time at the truck stop of life eating junk food and drinking bad coffee. It’s time to get back on the[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…