I have figured out a sure-fire domain name that will draw in thousands of people to my new website!:
thebaldnesscure.com
I figure that though there will be no such cure on my website, the people looking for it will most likely have had to develop a keen sense of humor and will appreciate my cartoons…
My old hotmail account, which I still use occasionally, has been hacked AGAIN. This really surprises me because I came up with what I really thought was an airtight password:
3jbvcjdbD∆ç≍©∫˜çFHuis5∆∫9∂∫©ß∂©¶•ªªær678ƒ∂ßjUo8∞§¶•ª$#@hiyC∂ƒß®†¥∑œ6ki∞9≤÷0
That password was really tough to remember! Now I have to think up a whole new one that is even MORE complex!
Anyway, the reason I knew my account had been hacked was because I received an email from myself. Of course, the email was not real from myself, but from a young “hot” woman who says she knows me! Below, I have reprinted the ACTUAL email I received from “her” (I do acknowledge that it is entirely possible that this email was not really written by some hot young girl, but was actually written by some fat, hairy, chain-smoking, Serbian guy sitting in a dank internet cafe in Dibrovnick, but that possibility has no ultimate bearing on the point I will be trying to make here.)
The email letter I received from my own hacked account is a letter of seduction. The young woman who wrote the email says we have corresponded, but I don’t know her and have never corresponded or chatted with her. This is especially obvious since she never mentions my name and keeps referring to me as “babe”. This letter, which was most likely sent to thousands of men, is clearly intended to entice the “average american male” into going to the porn site link provided at the end of the letter (which I have blanked out in this posting), and my guess is, once they go to that link, after a little chat-tease, they will be fanagled into paying for a more extended porn chat.
What I find so interesting about this email is the idea that someone, somewhere, believes that the woman portrayed in this letter is in any way desirable and seductive. I suppose the woman this letter is intended to represent what is considered by the writer to be the type of woman who is viewed as hot and sexy by many men, and that getting together with her would be an irresistible thrill for those guys…which I find to be very disturbing because the woman portrayed in this letter is not hot at all but is instead a skanky, idiot, loser.
More disturbing than the fact that somone thinks they wrote a seductive letter here, is the fact that, letters such as these would not be continually sent out as they are, if they didn’t actually WORK. That’s right. Apparently enough men respond to this type of letter to make it part of an elaborate hacking scam that hijacks people’s email accounts in order to send it.
This says two things about American men. First, it says that there are a LOT of stupid guys out there that might actually receive this letter and say to themselves, “Huh? I don’t remember chatting online with this girl, but I chat with a lot of hot skanks online so maybe I am just forgetting…and….wow, she really seems to LIKE me! That would be so fucking cool to have a internet porn-chat girl as my girlfriend! I’m gonna go to her site right NOW!”
The second thing this letter says about american men, besides their being stupid enough to fall for this scam, is that they have a pitiful concept of what they think is attractive and seductive in a woman. The woman who wrote this letter sounds like a moron who can’t work her computer, can’t spell, can barely write a coherent sentence, is unemployed, is in debt, is super sleezy, and wants a guy to help her move her furniture!
I know all that sure gets me hot!
In terms of the style of writing of this letter, I have actually seen many young women (and men) write like this. The style of this letter is pretty damn authentic for a vast segment of American society. The mispellings here are more a result of laziness than simple ignorance, and that laziness is supposed to be considered “cute”. The “lol”s are thrown in kind of like a laugh track in a bad sit-com. They are there to tell you that something funny was just said, or, on occasion, the “lol” is a way of requseting a pass for a sleezy or obnoxious thing she wrote that they really did want you to read.
I personally think this letter is an example of sheer brilliance on the part of the internet porn scammer who wrote it. If you take out the porn scam portion of it at the end, it does sound kind of REAL. The kind of letter some young, stupid girl would really send to some guy if she had chatted with him online and was now about to move to his town. And that is what makes it so distrurbing. It’s all too real. So fasten your seatbelts, here it is, a little slice of what is considered to be modern seduction in America:
“BABE… i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been
tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of
garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been? In case u dont know
who this is its ME PAIGE.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then
I think u deleted me 🙁 haha.. anyways guess what… I got 2 things to
tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up
about 3 months ago… and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR
U.. lol… ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3
cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..I remember when we chatted
u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally
can HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is still
the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe even
help me move my shit in…are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui was
soo confused…anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town and
take me out so u better be around bebe…we only chatted a couple
times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u
better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnt
tell u cause i wasnt single lol…ok so more info about me.. well im
23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for
drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named
BOO and i luv her to death… uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but
every gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all
that.. love sex etc blah blah blah…who doesnt..I really hope we get
a chance to chat for a bit either online or on the fone before i get
there enxt week.. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arent
married yet lol.. OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there..
do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a bar
or osmehting like that…really anythgin cause my current job is fun
and all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i
currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out
meeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i
did? hmm shud i……???? ok WELLLL… and dont get all weirded out
on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat
with people and get naked HHAHA… BOMB right :)? I KNOW.. like i
figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and play
with myself heheh…anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO
THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol… i actually need help
once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out….like i
said before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NON
STOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and im
hopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..
ANYWAYS.. heres the deal….every month natalie (my boss) gives each
of us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code u
can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like
everyone else… the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we can
chat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLY
USE IT FOR URSELF… i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more
than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER… i figured u cud
always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me
login half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room…
if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. but
remember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUST
U… im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move..
also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan 🙁 I
really thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evern
remember me hahha.. anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probably
soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. im gonna go start work.. i
really hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of my
stress about the move… REALLY i mean that….anyways once i see u in
insdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dont
wanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find me
now days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get there
after my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. but im hopign
to see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code im
gonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS
INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U hahahahha…k babe im out
for now… chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo PAIGE FREE VIP BYPASS LINK
——>> http://***********”
I took a very dear friend out to dinner for her birthday last night. She has been very supportive of me during some hard times and she is now going through some hard times herself.
Things have just not been going well for her lately so I really wanted her to have a good time last night. She is just so convinced that her life has gone to hell, and I thought a nice birthday dinner would help.
I wanted to convince her that everything was going to be okay, and that her life was going to turn around with this birthday. I kept telling her that, starting that night, everything was going to change.
Then, when we got to the restaurant, I parked the car, and she stepped out onto the sidewalk into the biggest, sloppiest, heap of dog shit I have ever seen.
Late last night, in a drunken and exhausted stupor, I was still trying to come up with a catchy domain name for my new website. At one desperate point I actually checked to see if monkeybutler.com was available….
It is. In case anyone’s interested.