Oh DAMN! I forgot to become an adult!
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At 49 years old, I am absolutely convinced that time moves faster for me than it does for anyone else.
People I know have spouses and children and in some cases, grandchildren…they have built long successful careers filled with great accomplishment, they have traveled all over the world and some have written books, learned foreign languages, bought and sold homes, and spend time golfing, playing tennis, going to concerts and sporting events, and spending weekends on mountain or caribbean getaways.
How is it they have TIME to do all that? I feel like I just graduated college and the next thing I know, longtime friends and acquaintances are starting to talk retirement! In fact, as many of my contemporaries are contemplating retirement, I am still living much in the same way I did in college….
It’s the only logical explanation… I am caught in a time warping tear in the fabric of the universe.
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I am still friends with my ex. Yesterday, we were hanging out and running some errands together around town, and we stop into a Walgreen’s pharmacy to pick up some toothpaste, deodorant, etc. when she calls out to me across the floor of the crowded pharmacy in a loud voice, “Hey Alex! Are you out of these again? Do you need another jumbo pack?”
…and she is holding up an enormous package of adult diapers.
I think I remember now why our relationship ended.
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For breakfast, I really wanted an everything bagel slathered in cream cheese from the bagel place across the street, but instead, I am having a bowl of oatmeal and a banana.
In my breakfast choice I see the great tragedy of the human condition.
When I was younger I used to say hello to dogs on the street in order to get a chance to interact with the cute girls walking them. Now, that I am middle aged, I find myself saying hello to girls on the street in order to get a chance to interact with the cute dogs they are walking.